My Flaws, Your Forgiveness
by IWalkBlindlyIntoTheShadows
Summary: I did everything wrong. I am no leader to be proud of. He tells me he forgives me, but I don't know why. I let him die. I could have stood up for him. But I didn't. How could he say that I was a good leader? (LeafClan Challenge)


_His eyes, amber and warm._

_His voice so calm._

_A promise._

_A mistake._

_Blood._

_Bones. A hill of nothing but bones._

_Fear. _

_A gray pelt. Stonefur._

_Death._

_Regret._

_Fear._

_A small black cat._

_His warm amber eyes dulled by death._

_A hasty choice._

_A change of mind._

_A war._

_More blood._

_A short truce._

_The war is over._

_Black cat dead._

_His murder died._

_Shivers of fear every passing second._

_"Do they trust me?"_

_"My Clan hates me."_

_"I should have never become leader..."_

* * *

_I'm dead now, aren't I?_

"Leopardstar, it's time to go." Jolting her head up, a sob rose to her throat as she saw the mostly black pelt of Whiteclaw. Without thinking she rubbed her muzzle against his, unable to hold back her sob and joy. At first he was a bit surprised by her actions, but he soon licked his former mentor's ear.

"I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault I died."

"I know, but... I just wish I could have done _something_." The two shared a moment of comforting silence before Whiteclaw gently nudged her.

"Come on, StarClan's waiting for you." She followed the warrior as they came to a place that felt so calming and welcoming. As she let herself relax, she realized how young she felt. Almost like she was an apprentice again. As she glanced over her own pelt, she was surprised to see that she did look younger without being an apprentice herself. Looking back in front of her, she saw three small shapes happily run up to her, followed by a white and ginger she-cat she had only been told about.

"Brightsky..." She breathed, a feeling of joy sweeping through her. The same feeling she had gotten when she first saw the queen at her leader's ceremony. Her gaze fell down to the three kits and they tumbled around her paws.

"Those are your sisters and brother," The young queen purred as she looked down at her kits. "Introduce yourselves to your littermate."

The first one to stop playing was the largest of the litter. A brown she-cat with white patches she-cat. "I'm Dustkit." She was then pushed away by the only tom.

"I'm Blazekit." He introduced proudly, his mostly ginger pelt shining brightly.

"We're Tinykit and Hazelkit." Mewed the pure brown tabby she-cats as they batted at Leopardstar's tail. With a soft, almost saddened laugh, she indulged the kits in a game of chase the tail. Brightsky let out a purr as she watched them.

"I'm so proud you you, Leopardstar." Surprised, the former leader turned to face her mother.

"Really?"

"As proud as any queen could be for such a fine leader."

"I'm not really a-"

"It seems I almost missed welcoming you." A stone formed in Leopardstar's throat as she recognized the tom's voice. Turning her head, she saw Stonefur approaching. The memories flooding back in a cold, unforgiving wave. She found herself unable to look her former deputy in the eye, and instead looked at her tiny littermates.

"Hello, Stonefur." Her voice cracked a little as she managed to throw in a glance before looking down at her paws. The kits stopped their game to watch the reunion with curiosity. Stonefur seemed unfazed by her complete change in joy, for his mew was still warm.

"Glad to see you here."

_I don't deserve your kindness._

"Are you really?" That's when he caught on. She saw in the corner of his eye as he turned to Brightsky.

"Can I talk to Leopardstar alone?"

"Sure."

_Don't leave us alone._ The leader couldn't find her voice to speak those words. She watched as her mother and her littermates padded away, leaving her with the stone-gray tom. After a moment he turned to face her.

"Leopardstar, I don't blame you for what you did."

"Fox-dung. I know I made a horrible choice. I know I should have spoken up for you. I might as well have been the one that killed you!" She snapped at him as a sob cracked her voice.

"I know it wasn't your best choice, but-"

"But? Stonefur, don't you get it? I nearly ruined RiverClan! There is no other way to look at it!"

"But look at you have turned RiverClan into," He continued as if he hadn't been interrupted. "You gave Mistyfoot a brighter future for the Clan that she'll lead. RiverClan is strong thanks to you."

Leopardstar shook her head.

"I doubt that. I was stuck in the fortune Crookedstar brought to the Clan. I nearly destroyed everything he turned the Clan into."

"You didn't, however."

Leopardstar sighed. "I'm honoured you feel like I've done something great, but I didn't. I know that RiverClan is better off without me."

_Probably even glad I'm dead._ Silence followed. Neither cat dared to speak, aware the other would point out the opposite of what the first one said. After what felt like seasons, Stonefur finally broke the silence.

"Are you going to go to Mistyfoot's leader ceremony?" She shook her head again.

"Crookedstar can go in my place. She should be given her last life by a cat that's worthy of giving it." She looked up at him in time to see a tint of sorrow in his eyes, but he did not edge the conversation on further.

"Alright... Goodbye for now then." He left, leaving the silence to feel deafening to the leader. He left her with the silence and her mistake.


End file.
